Lives Of Purpose

I keep hearing the same advertisement on Pandora. It's a few kids talking about what private schools they will soon be attending and how well a particular private elementary school prepared them. A narrator mentions that the school grooms children to have "lives of purpose." Possibly it's the manner in which she says those words, but I find my feathers ruffled every time I hear it.

Obviously I don't have children so maybe that makes me immediately disqualified from commenting. Maybe it's obvious that every parent's main goal is to have children with "lives of purpose." I don't know about that, but I can comment on society's obsession with "purpose" and "meaning." Why has having "purpose" became an end all be all measure by which we judge success? Why can't we just be happy? Everything is go go go, achieve achieve achieve, do more more more. 

Capitalism plays a role. In our current society, having money equals power, having power equals success, having success equals everything. But to what end? And at what expense? Why do we work so hard? It seemed that there was a time when you could have a job, leave the job at 5pm, and have enough to have a home, enough to make ends meet, enough to be well-respected and appreciated. Now everyone is always "so busy," stress is more common than non-stress, and it's a constant rat race just to come out even. There has to be a backlash at some point...right?

In my time not working (at least in the traditional 9-5 sense), I've noticed a shift in myself. When people first asked what I was doing with my time, I quickly mentioned that I was working with a career counselor, doing some consulting, and learning yoga. I felt pressure to name accomplishments, ensure others that I was doing something to "stay in the game." Why? Why couldn't it be okay for me to be reading crappy books and floating on the raft in the sun? I was happy. Happier than I'd been in a  long time. Why did I feel the constant need to demonstrate "success?" I've started to admit that my summer was for me, for my relaxation and rejuvenation, and admitting that I read historical romances, colored mandalas, and enjoyed being with my dog.

There are more layers to this. For example, somehow women are supposed to have demanding, high-powered jobs and also be amazing mothers. Don't get me wrong, I am enormously grateful for the fact that being part of the workforce is even an option for women, but it sure would be nice if caregiver policies caught up, the impossibility of one-earner households would be addressed, and the continued prevailing notion that if you're not a mother, you're not a woman might be challenged.

All I'm saying is that I think it is 100% legitimate and even the best option for some people to just be. To not choose a path where long hours and stress are pushing you up the rungs of a hierarchical ladder. To not strive for some greater purpose, deep meaning, or extreme success.  

At lunch with a friend earlier this week, we chatted about this very notion. She said she thought it was time for a revolution. So take a deep breath. Drop the expectations and the pressures and the external motivations. Know that you being you is enough. Or try anyway. It's all easier said than done.