Into The Woods

As if we weren't already in the woods! But we drove north yesterday for a quick trip into the White Mountains. It seemed to be peak fall foliage there and "we" wanted to get back into that hiking life "we" has briefly embraced while prepping for our 2017 trek in Patagonia. My hesitancy stemmed mostly from an anxiety-laden combination of being massively out of shape, having some sort of lung "damage" from whatever illness I experienced in March, getting "old," and honestly, being a little afraid. So yeah, I was so excited, ha!

But it was beautiful. Don't get me wrong, in the moment, I hated a lot of it, likely because it was so physically difficult (and shouldn't have been) and I was unnecessarily terrified of getting down. I struggled much of the way up and honestly, was pretty miserable. The climb took us over roots, rocks, and some pine needle paths winding up Potash Mountain through some primarily green beech-heavy forest, then a pine forest, and finally up to the scrubbier mountain top. 

Holy moly, gorgeous views in all directions with stunning foliage. We sat for a quick lunch and rest then made our way down. The hiking poles were key there and it was easier than I anticipated. All told, 4 miles round trip and about 1,300 feet in elevation change on the way up. Despite the beauty of it all, I'm still processing my reactions. I'll get back to you on that.

Just A Little Moment

Oh this morning as things really quiet down around the pond and we took an early stroll and the sun and the mist and the stillness and the slight little tinge of antique on the leaves and that reflection and sigh.

Life As We Know It

I've started this post at least five times since mid-May, but never found the words to describe this moment. Months later, I still don't have them, but I'm craving the feeling of creating something so here I am.

It's hard to believe that this is life right now. Seven years of reading post-apocalyptic and dystopian literature didn't prepare me to actually live in one. I don't need to explain what I mean because even if you've been living under a rock, that rock is wearing a mask and is surely six feet away from all the other rocks.

I miss things. I miss "big" things like intelligent leadership, empathy, logic, truth, respect for science, compassion, and risk-free interactions with family and friends. I miss "small" things like in-person meetings with my business partners and clients, browsing the shelves at TJ Maxx, planning our next travel adventure, and walking into downtown Portsmouth for dinner at our favorite restaurant. Like all of us, I miss normalcy and life as we knew it. 

Compared to sooooo many others though, our lives are relatively unaffected. We're tucked away at our cabin in the woods and don masks when we go out in public, but aside from both of us working from home, not much else has changed. But then I remember. I remember the atrocity of how it is now September and this is STILL happening and how so many people are suffering in enormous ways, both seen and unseen. I remember how it really didn't have to be like this and how the virus pandemic, the longstanding racism pandemic, and the pandemic of a rapidly declining democracy are all colliding into one big mass of horrifying.

It's overwhelming. This is a new circumstance none of us have experienced. We're processing an ongoing trauma that has no end date and we're juggling life's new "normal" as we grieve what used to be. This is hard. But this is reality. We have to do what we can to stay sane, find the bright spots, and look out for each other. 

Lest you think this is a pep talk from the queen of pessimism herself, I also think it's important to go easy on ourselves. If ever there was a time to just not be okay, it's now. Allow it. And allow people in who want to support and help you. We could all use each other right now. It'll just have to be some virtual love.