How is it be possible that two sets of grown men can't get the idiotic dollar signs out of their eyeballs and figure out their differences so the NHL can PLAY HOCKEY? That is what they do, they PLAY HOCKEY. It's not rocket science. So compromise and come up with something, anything, so you don't leave your 42 fans out in the cold again this season.
Pardon me. I'm angry. One of my favorite things is hockey. I love the NHL. I love the NY Rangers. And without it this season, I might pull out my hair or strap skates on Merwin and send him out to the Mystic River.
The NHL experienced a lock out that canceled the entire 2004-2005 season, and it was devastating. I was in the toddler stages of my passion for the sport, so successfully preoccupied my time with more appropriate things like tuning into the CW for high school dramas and doing crossword puzzles on my pink striped futon. But it left a distinct void, and I fear that this time around, it might be more like an endless chasm of emptiness.
Basketball, you say? Sure, if they add a dude who moves around on top of the hoop to make dramatic saves with every part of his body. Oh yeah and playoff baseball could be fun if players started cross-checking each other as they round the bases and maybe more than one guy would move at a time.
The reality is they have until September 15th to come to an agreement and prevent a delayed (or canceled) season, so there is time. But more importantly, the sides are their own endless chasm apart and it doesn't look promising.
Because of this, I am crafting a list of things I could undertake to bring a sliver of joy during these dark times:
- Start a dog photography business. I have the experience.
- Collect old designs of dollar bills. I, um, heard this is way cool.
- Start marketing my homemade paper snowflakes on eBay.
- Become an avid curling fan, perfecting my sliding lunge thingy and get good at watching people sweep ice instead of watching people skate on ice.
- Bodybuilding (HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH)
- Start a Barkery. Yes, I said Barkery.
Additional suggestions accepted and encouraged. In the meantime, cross your fingers they come to a consensus or you'll be forced to buy snowflakes in bulk.
so so so stressful... though this could be your opportunity to make millions selling your snowflakes.
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