Three years ago, I was a bridesmaid in a close friend's wedding and was charged with the task of checking in with her throughout the day to make sure she was "living in the moment." We had both discussed how the wedding day is such a big deal yet after the fact, so many brides report that they can't recall many of the incredible moments. For Ashley's wedding, the strategy worked and I find myself trying to deploy the same methods day-to-day. I'm always worrying about an interaction from the past or fretting about something approaching in the coming weeks, so I'm rarely present in the "now." In this way, I envy Merwin (the dog) who doesn't have the capacity to think backwards or forwards but does what we say, goes where we take him, and seems content existing. The other Merwin seems to have something to say about it as well.
One of the Butterflies
W.S. Merwin
The trouble with pleasure is the timing
it can overtake me without warning
and be gone before I know it is here
it can stand facing me unrecognized
while I am remembering somewhere else
in another age or someone not seen
for years and never to be seen again
in this world and it seems that I cherish
only now a joy I was not aware of
when it was here although it remains
out of reach and will not be caught or named
or called back and if I could make it stay
as I want to it would turn to pain.
it can overtake me without warning
and be gone before I know it is here
it can stand facing me unrecognized
while I am remembering somewhere else
in another age or someone not seen
for years and never to be seen again
in this world and it seems that I cherish
only now a joy I was not aware of
when it was here although it remains
out of reach and will not be caught or named
or called back and if I could make it stay
as I want to it would turn to pain.
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