Ode To The Desk Chair

Ode to the Desk Chair
Anonymous*

You're disgusting, desk chair.

Your fake leather seat

is splitting and peeling

like old man feet

baking in hot sand.

Your arms are cheap plastic,

cracked on the sides

and breaking from your wobbly frame.

You can't even fit 

through the doorway

you fat and slow desk chair.

The only thing

you are supposed to do

is be comfortable

and instead, sitting in you

is like balancing

on an obese warthog 

running spastically

around a field of porta pottys.

You are awful, desk chair.

I hope you 

enjoy your new friends

in the landfill,

you dumbie.

* I wrote this and I'm proud of it. Good riddance, Ikea desk chair, good riddance. Dedicated to the CFs.