Just A Little Moment

These flowers, these zinnias, were started from seeds by my dad, driven to NH and planted by my mom, watered by me, and placed in a vase brought to us by visitors from Denmark. Tiny flowers, big love. 

DIYing

If you'd like to read that title as "dying" that's fine too seeing that you'll likely be dying with laughter when you see the photos from this little project. We have an outdoor bench and matching table set on a platform looking out over the water. Nice little spot but both pieces of furniture have seen better days with the wood quite deteriorated. So my little bro suggested I brush on some teak oil to strengthen the wood and keep it from completely drying out. Perfect!

Genius me decided that this would be a great DIY moment to feature on the blog. I snapped a before photo, a project selfie, and an after photo. Aside from the crazy look in my eyeballs as I tackled the painting, there is absolutely nothing to see here. With the exception of my terrible photography skills featuring dramatically different lighting and my own shadow in the after photo, the before and after pics look virtually the same. In real life, the wood is a shade darker and seems more resilient. The experience, however, made me realize that I'll be sticking to posting pointless blabbering and sunset photos from now on.

Zen Moment At The Pond

Sometimes when you need a reminder of something, it comes. This little box decorated in blue was part of MJ's yoga studio, greeting students and offering Zen quotes that may make you "smile or shake your head." I was hanging out with my five-month old buddy Helen Jane this past week during her family's visit to Round Pond, and she helped me select a slip of paper from the box. I was struck by how fitting the words seemed in this moment. Maybe it's like horoscopes which are so cleverly written to speak directly to each reader's issue, but it really felt like this blip of poetry was perfectly suited. A reminder to just be - no pressure to feel a certain way, desire anything in particular, or work towards any goal or usefulness. A message I was grateful to receive during this little life pause. Delivered with the help of guardian angels and those they watch over.

Excerpt from Sonnet IV Personal Talk

William Wordsworth

To sit without emotion, hope, or aim,

In the loved presence of my cottage-fire,

And listen to the flapping of the flame,

Or kettle whispering its faint undersong.

A Poem For A Friday

The Dogs at Live Oak Beach, Santa Cruz

Alicia Ostriker

As if there could be a world
Of absolute innocence
In which we forget ourselves

The owners throw sticks
And half-bald tennis balls
Toward the surf
And the happy dogs leap after them
As if catapulted--

Black dogs, tan dogs,
Tubes of glorious muscle--

Pursuing pleasure
More than obedience
They race, skid to a halt in the wet sand,
Sometimes they'll plunge straight into
The foaming breakers

Like diving birds, letting the green turbulence
Toss them, until they snap and sink

Teeth into the floating wood
Then bound back to their owners
Shining wet, with passionate speed
For nothing,
For absolutely nothing but joy.

Notes From The Travel Journal - West Coast Jaunt Part Two

We drove east from 60 degree Carmel to temps over 107 as we passed through Fresno (my first In and Out Burger experience - thumbs up) and onward to the entrance of King's Canyon and Sequoia National Parks. The ascent began! It kept going! We headed off the main road and were climbing a one-lane dirt path that clung to the side of the mountain before emerging at the campsite parking lot. Then we hefted our backpacks (mine was itty bitty while Simon carried all of my stuff) and made the one-mile hike to the actual wedding. We huffed and puffed our way to the top and emerged at a stunning overlook from where we stood at 9,000 feet altitude. Unreal.

I was immensely proud of the fact that we had hiked in. Turns out that most fellow wedding goers got a lift up to the site with their gear. We're hardcore! But I actually really enjoyed it. Maybe we could make it on a camping trip after all. If real camping includes a sweet tent room with actual beds, snuggly Woolrich blankets, delicious prepared meals, and bathroom facilities with super hot showers. Not standard I take it.

The bride is seriously a superhero. I've known this from the first time I met her as part of the tiny dance company I was part of in New York City, but this wedding further proved it. How she convinced a DJ and florist to haul their gear all the way up a mountain is beyond me, much less how she masterfully orchestrated the complicated logistics of 120 guests at this type of once in a lifetime event. It was all amazing. And catching up with these ladies from my NYC days was a really, really great time.

After the truly spectacular wedding, we climbed down the mountain and headed back to San Fran for a great catch-up dinner with my buddy Jess before boarding a plane east the next morning. A whirlwind adventure full of gorgeous vistas and QT with some great people!

Notes From The Travel Journal - West Coast Jaunt Part One

When we received notice of a friend's wedding to take place in Sequoia National Park in California, we jumped at the opportunity to head west. Especially given that the wedding itself was a two-day "glamping" affair atop a mountain in a national park (more on that wildness later). We didn't have a lot of extra time but wanted to tack on a quick second destination to take advantage of the cross country flight. Yosemite was tempting but too far away. The same went for trying to connect with my older bro and his fam. Like the true millenials (some of us) are, we crowdsourced the question and learned about Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA.

Perched next to the Pacific about two hours south of San Fran, Carmel is a fancy little beachside town chock full of yummy restaurants, wine tasting rooms, ocean vistas, and architecture that had us drooling. We felt instantly relaxed when we checked into La Playa Carmel, happy to note that once we swung our room windows open, the sound of ocean waves filled the tiny space. We took a few strolls along the beach, walked to town for dinners and wine tastings (Scheid Vineyards was a hit), and used our full day to explore Point Lobos State Natural Reserve, an absolutely breathtaking park along the water's edge. We were refreshed and relaxed after day two, ready to embark on the 5 hour drive over to the park to celebrate Sara and Chris!

Times They Are A Changin

In the time since I last posted, it feels like everything changed, though it has really been just one change with resulting impacts that accumulate into feeling like an entirely different life - in a good way. I resigned from my job! I don't have another one! We're living at the lake for the summer! I'm taking my time to figure out next steps, trying to be in this incredible moment and savor the opportunity to pause from the 9-5 hubbub and be thoughtful about what I really want to do.

The moments prior to resigning were fraught with stress, anxiety and constant questioning of the reality of taking this cliff dive (it really isn't but it felt like it to me). This job has been my life for 7 years and I've learned so much about arts management, development strategy, best practices in the field, etc. etc. Almost more importantly, I learned a lot about my values and my beliefs. A passion for social justice emerged in a way that I certainly didn't expect. I'll be forever grateful to this job and its people for helping me meet and embrace that part of me.

But it wasn't working anymore. I didn't have the energy, motivation, or enthusiasm for reengaging in a positive way or even for pursuing something else. So here I am taking advantage of this unique time in adult life to take a break, clear the brain, and start applying some thought to what type of work would excite and energize me. Maybe it has nothing to do with non-profits. Maybe it has nothing to do with anything from the first 15 years of my career. Maybe it has everything to do with selling doggy sweaters and matching bowties out of a pickup truck. Who knows, but hopefully this time will serve to both recharge me and bring clarity to my own life and career goals.

My last day on Friday was surprisingly emotional. Change has always been hard, but this was really hard. I think it will take a long time to peel back all the layers of the job, emotions, stress, personalities, and sadness that are swirling about, but the lake provides a relaxing setting to start the process and see what emerges.