Times They Are A Changin

In the time since I last posted, it feels like everything changed, though it has really been just one change with resulting impacts that accumulate into feeling like an entirely different life - in a good way. I resigned from my job! I don't have another one! We're living at the lake for the summer! I'm taking my time to figure out next steps, trying to be in this incredible moment and savor the opportunity to pause from the 9-5 hubbub and be thoughtful about what I really want to do.

The moments prior to resigning were fraught with stress, anxiety and constant questioning of the reality of taking this cliff dive (it really isn't but it felt like it to me). This job has been my life for 7 years and I've learned so much about arts management, development strategy, best practices in the field, etc. etc. Almost more importantly, I learned a lot about my values and my beliefs. A passion for social justice emerged in a way that I certainly didn't expect. I'll be forever grateful to this job and its people for helping me meet and embrace that part of me.

But it wasn't working anymore. I didn't have the energy, motivation, or enthusiasm for reengaging in a positive way or even for pursuing something else. So here I am taking advantage of this unique time in adult life to take a break, clear the brain, and start applying some thought to what type of work would excite and energize me. Maybe it has nothing to do with non-profits. Maybe it has nothing to do with anything from the first 15 years of my career. Maybe it has everything to do with selling doggy sweaters and matching bowties out of a pickup truck. Who knows, but hopefully this time will serve to both recharge me and bring clarity to my own life and career goals.

My last day on Friday was surprisingly emotional. Change has always been hard, but this was really hard. I think it will take a long time to peel back all the layers of the job, emotions, stress, personalities, and sadness that are swirling about, but the lake provides a relaxing setting to start the process and see what emerges.