The Most Dreaded Holiday

I've never loved Halloween.  Actually I kind of despise Halloween.  I definitely enjoyed it as a kid, but as an adult I find it to be way too much pressure.  In the past, I've been able to avoid it altogether, but the organization I work for hosts an annual Halloween Dance Party so last year, I was faced with finding a costume and in 30 days I will have to do it all again.  I'm actually quite proud of what Simon and I came up with for last year-- a mouse and an exterminator.   I tend to prefer funny costumes but with board members and donors attending the party, I have to at least pretend to be classy.

Any ideas???

Nail on the Head?

To Waiting
W.S. Merwin

You spend so much of your time
expecting to become
someone else
always someone
who will be different
someone to whom a moment
whatever moment it may be
at last has come
and who has been
met and transformed
into no longer being you
and so has forgotten you

meanwhile in your life
you hardly notice
the world around you
lights changing
sirens dying along the buildings
your eyes intent
on a sight you do not see yet
not yet there
as long as you
are only yourself

with whom as you
recall you were
never happy
to be left alone for long

Happy Birthday Merwin (the dog)!

It's not really his birthday, but we don't know the actual day he was born, so instead we will celebrate the day Merwin became a Delekta. Enjoy being spoiled today, dog, because it won't last forever.  Oh wait, it will.

Oh, dogs can't read and are colorblind?

Birthday cake and a stuffed alien-looking thing.

Cake was a big hit. 

Who's happier?

Boston vs. New York, Round 1

This matchup probably requires a multitude of posts, but I was reminded of some dueling cities similarities yesterday when walking from my office to the subway...oops, sorry, I mean "the T."  A homeless man complimented me on my necklace and we exchanged a bit of conversation  before I was on my way.

The interaction led me to recall an experience in New York, where homelessness seems more prevalent and also more pronounced.  Here in Boston, or at least in Harvard Square, I find myself wondering if the people asking for money are actually just conducting a crowd mentality study for Harvard or are motivated by something other than just trying to live.  I guess that is based on appearances, which I should know by now is never the way to draw any conclusions.  But anyway, I remember riding the subway home to Brooklyn one night after work and subsequently writing a response in poetry form.

On the F Train to Brooklyn

a man is marooned on an island
of orange and yellow plastic seats
bordered by suits and heels
who eye the laceless sneakers
caked with creases
and try to shrink their way
to the other end of the car.

I have nothing.
Spare some change?
 
I have nothing
echoes
off rows of brownstones
whose windows
checkerboard the night with yellow lights
and whose radiators
harmonize warmth.

I have nothing
follows me up the steps
and into arms
that send the fall chill
puddling to the floor.

I have nothing
tucks the quilt
tightly around me

nearly choking.

Fading Summer

Officially it doesn't end for a few more days, but with Labor Day behind us and white pants in storage until May, it certainly seems like summer is gone.  Dusk is my favorite time of day and even though it's coming earlier now, the fading golden light and crisp air make for some excellent evenings.

Late afternoon on the Charles River in Boston

Memory of Summer Facing West
W.S. Merwin

Sheep and rocks drifting together before sunset
late birds rowing home across bright spaces
shadows stroking the long day above the earth
wild voices high and far-carrying
at sun's descent toward ripening grain

Two Seconds of Funny

Well, I think it's funny. 

The Allure of the Dark

Like many people (or maybe I just tell myself that so I don't feel so strange), I'm more interested in "dark" works of art rather than things with a lighter or even comical focus.  Literature, dance, poetry, opera--you name it, I prefer it in its tragic form.  What really gets me is poetry that explores the ultimate in dark themes but also provides a glimmer of something lighter, often simply and subtly.  Merwin has dozens of works that demonstrate this dynamic, but this one by Edwin Morgan, a Scottish poet who passed away last year, has been one of my favorites for a long time. 

When You Go
Edwin Morgan

When you go,
if you go,
and I should want to die,
there's nothing I'd be saved by
more than the time
you fell asleep in my arms
in a trust so gentle
I let the darkening room
drink up the evening, till
rest, or the new rain
lightly roused you awake.
I asked if you heard the rain in your dream
and half dreaming still you only said, I love you.

List

During a blogger's block, I was browsing a blog about writing blogs, and it suggested that readers are interested in "lists."  I'm almost certain most of my reader(s) aren't very interested in much that I write, but I'll give the strategy a go.

Things I Am Obsessed With

• The New York Rangers (and hockey in general)
• Bach's Brandenburg Concertos (especially Concerto No. 3 i: Allegro Moderato)
• Apocalypse and Post-Apocalyptic literature (see list on left side of blog)
• Snow (the rumor of a snowstorm glues me to The Weather Channel for hours)
• Christmas chotchkes and holiday music (after Thanksgiving)
• Yellow
• Merwin (the dog)
• This poem by Merwin (the poet)... 

For the Anniversary of My Death
W.S. Merwin

Every year without knowing it I have passed the day  

When the last fires will wave to me

And the silence will set out

Tireless traveler

Like the beam of a lightless star

Then I will no longer

Find myself in life as in a strange garment

Surprised at the earth

And the love of one woman

And the shamelessness of men

As today writing after three days of rain

Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease

And bowing not knowing to what

The Face of a Troublemaker

Yeah, he's cute.  But sometimes he has guilt written all over his puppy face. 

Simon and I were out of town this past weekend and while we were away, Simon's mom took charge of Merwin.  Merwin LOVES being a "granddog" and gets super, butt-wagging excited whenever he sees his grandparents.

Over the long weekend, they played, took walk after walk, and even went to a barbeque in Rhode Island.  Later that night, Merwin apparently threw the after party because Simon's mom awoke to discover that his 4 servings of food had been stealthily eaten from sealed ziploc bags.  It doesn't shock me given his propensity to stuff anything and everything in his face.  While walking him a few months ago I happened to look down and saw him with an entire bagel hanging out of his mouth.  What a piggy.  But again, he's a cute piggy.

No Merwins Were Harmed in the Writing of This Post

I like to think of myself having really innovative "ideas" that could make me rich.  Over time these have ranged from a social network for sharing movie reviews (because that's never been done) to a restaurant where only the "tips" of food are served (yummy cheesy triangle of pizza, first bite of a cake slice, tip of the ice cream cone).  Pure genius except you would have a lot of food that becomes useless....unless of course, the restaurant next door only serves food "butts."  Wow.

Simon and I were riding in a car a few months ago when my latest flash of brilliance occurred.  We were listening to Top 40 Hits and I started dancing along to Britney Spears.  The moves got a little more serious and I felt my heart rate elevate slightly (don't judge me) when a lightbulb went off.  Why not make this a marketable workout!?  I could create a "Road Trip Dance Workout" video!  I was drafting a production plan in my head when Simon pointed out that it would be a slight driving hazard for jazz hands to be thrusting around the passenger side of the car.  Not to mention that you really shouldn't have a video playing anywhere near the steering wheel of a vehicle.

So another bubble was burst, but have no fear, one of these days, I'm sure I'll hit upon something amazing.  You'll be the first to know.